5/13/12

I really don't understand how the human mind works (in modern times). It's very confusing and the one really annoying thing about dealing with it is that in society some people think you're a HUGE deal.....like I'm some sort of big deal....and obviously that's because some guys like me but whatever....they think 'oh she does this and that and so on so she's intimidating or something' (and I'm poor for God's sakes) but then other people think I'm a total piece of shit.......like I'm just an ant. You notice ants when they're in your way and you shoo them away and you don't give a crap about the ant's feelings/nature/dreams/existence, etc. I don't understand why the world works like this and I only get angrier and angrier. And angrier. So of course that means I'm stressed out and need my alone time and don't want to interact with all this anymore....putting up with this much nonsense is seriously becoming humanly impossible. The sound of the rain outside and the thought of it watering my plants at my place while I clean my parents' garage of all my papers and crap I've accumulated over the years (because my dad couldn't take it anymore and wants his garage back) and laugh with my sister over hilarious poems we wrote in second and third grade is sheer bliss. I don't understand why every day can't be like this.

I don't want to go to that party, I don't want to go to that event, I don't want to do anything, I don't want to make a five-year plan of what my life is supposed to look like, I don't want to be ambitious, I don't want to be so and so ....