8/16/12

The only thing worth doing in life is wiping others' tears. The only thing worth doing is to sing songs of love, life and pain and healing. The only way to live is in a state of passion. The world's cruelty, society's mishaps, and lovers' hates are not worth thinking about for none of it is real. Send me someone who is crying and I will feel alive again. Send me tears so I can stay close to God and close to my Heart. Send me rain so the sun can shine the next day ~

7/24/12

I'm sitting in the kids section again. The thought of sitting under the grey lights staring at a computer in the adult section of the library was SO not inviting so I walked over to the kids computers. At least there's noise and colors and happiness here. The Jewish kids are very focused. Well all the kids are very focused. I need more coffee.

Every human being needs something to look forward to and it has to be something soulful and fulfilling and positive and makes you happy. Like you shouldn't look forward to like killing someone that is not what I'm talking about (gotta always put in these side comments in for the crazies.. some people's children are scary). So what I've decided is that I'm going to take a couple weeks "off" in December and I'm going to hibernate and drink lots of coffee and nap and basically read books all day. I just wanna read my heart out. I miss those summers when I was young where me and Preeti would sink our hearts into books at the library to complete our summer program reading lists (if you didn't finish your list, you didn't get any stickers or prizes!!!!!! no!!!!!!!! so I HAD to finish my books). One must fulfill his or her heart as desired.

Feel free to join me for some snoogie this winter :]

5/29/12

There comes a point in time where you don't feel the swords stabbing you anymore. You notice them less and less. You don't feel them sinking into you as deeply anymore and it doesn't hurt as bad. It's like they bounce off of you now. What once caused you severe pain, quandary and agony now is hardly noticeable. In fact, it feels more like relief; the swords give you relief now. Any remnants of what once was within you fall away with each stab. Nothing seems real anymore except the stillness. ~ Peace

5/13/12

I really don't understand how the human mind works (in modern times). It's very confusing and the one really annoying thing about dealing with it is that in society some people think you're a HUGE deal.....like I'm some sort of big deal....and obviously that's because some guys like me but whatever....they think 'oh she does this and that and so on so she's intimidating or something' (and I'm actually poor) but then other people think I'm a total piece of shit.......like I'm just an ant. You notice ants when they're in your way, shoo them away and don't give a crap about the ant's feelings/nature/dreams/existence, etc. I don't understand why it works like this and I only get angrier and angrier. And angrier. So I feel stressed out and need my alone time and don't want to interact with all this anymore. This is nonsense.

5/8/12

Kali

Go ahead and snide. Go ahead and laugh. Go ahead and smirk. I am proud of my bones and what I create. You sicken yourselves. I heal. You deaden yourselves. I empower.

Kali

5/7/12

Sekhmet


Goddess Sekhmet (Anger and Rage) - Painter: Hrana Janto

I stay True to My Self. 

I stay True to My Heart. 

I stay True to God, the Breath of Life. 

I lie for no one. 

I am Raw and Red. 

5/2/12

Sometimes I walk around (actually more like every day) feeling like there are pins and blades in my heart. I feel like my chest is being gnawed, as if pieces of steel are cutting away, kniving away at whatever they can find. It's uncomfortable.

I never thought my life would look like this on the inside....I thought I would be over-joyous every day, laughing in bliss all the time but it didn't turn out that way. But at least I'm free.

~ Peace

4/28/12

If you let God speak through your Heart, what must be done, will be done.

He will give you the Strategy.

~ In Peace ~

Shatranj

You know the funny thing about chess is that people take it a bit too seriously. I mean it's great for your brain and all and it teaches you strategy and you can really become a brilliant warrior by playing it, but the problem is that in relationship, we really should be connecting with each other from the Heart. Relationships with our loved ones and friends should be created from the heart, from the soul, from love and authenticity. Relationships should not be either created or treated like a game of chess.

I personally have always tried to forge my relationships (or dissolve them) from the Heart. This is something that comes to me easily and naturally and probably why I've experienced much disappointment by 'love.' The funny thing is those that Love from the Heart aren't weak. They are incredibly strong. They are Strength Personified.

No need to underestimate those who live from Love. Because they actually know how to play chess better than anyone. They are in fact, masters of Shatranj. They can beat those who want to play with them any day. But only if they are invited to. Because on their own, they will never choose to.

~ Peace