Tanhai

Oh Tanhai (more time to write this week, see what happens). I'm not that sad or anything but you know sometimes you sit in the evenings whiffing the scent of lilac and rose hyacinths next to you and hear the lawn mower sound in the distance and feel the day unwinding itself and you think 'sigh. I could really use some manchest right now. What would it be like to lie down on the porch couch in the arms of some man chest at this very moment.

I think it's the feeling of missing something. Some lack.

Preeti and I lived together while I was in law school and she was an undergrad. Sometimes at night we would make hot chocolate and cuddle together on the couch and watch Sex and the City. We felt so warm and cozy. I've hugged and cuddled with her and my girlfriends but it's just not the same as snoogieing with a male. I haven't been held close to manchest in a really long time. I wanna feel like I'm being hugged by a grizzly bear.

But you can't just let any man hug you all warm and close for a long time. You can't feel safe and rest close to just any manchest. Women have to use their sensors. We have to know which manchest is safe., which manchest to want. 

This is why I wait. I wait for the right manchest. I am willing to wait for the manchest hug and holding.

But until then, it's Singledom. As I sit here on the porch with my paint by numbers tiger picture on the table and the sky closing its eyes in the distance, I can only dream and hope that soon one day, I will be on this very couch (in my own little condo of course) lying with a glass of wine in the arms of a grizzly bear held close to the right manchest, the only manchest for me.

Oh Tanhai....